Judging from the percentage of spam we receive selling penile enlargement aids, there are still a lot of guys out there who aren't listening to women who tell them size doesn't matter.

First off, let me say that I have always been one of those women. I totally concur with the old adage, "It's not the size but what you do with it." As far as sexual enjoyment, the only time when size is a factor is when it's just too big, ironically. And it's a small percentage of females who check out guys based on size of the package. (My eyes loiter long upon the face and eventually drift to the ass, which I think is quite common.)

But now that I've become an author of erotic romance fiction, I have to amend my opinion on this subject. Once I put on my writing hat, size indeed matters, and I'll tell you why.

Fiction, unlike real life, operates frequently on the basis of symbolism and illustration. A written work will rely on archetypes and imagery to make its points and express its themes. But before this column turns totally into a college lecture (sorry, I did major in English), let's apply an example.
Let me tell you about Frayn. Frayn is one of the three heroes of my Vernal Night Trilogy (Soulful Sex Volume II), an intense, pleasantly deranged fellow who works as a mural painter. Frayn is excessively proud of two things: his artistic genius, and that member of his anatomy that he affectionate calls "the Dark Tower." This pride is more beguiling than obnoxious-- Frayn's cockiness over his cock is charming and rather funny.
Frayn is utterly convinced the size of his penis is so astonishing that the mere sight of it will give him a tremendous edge in the seduction race. And does the heroine Raisi respond as he expects? Well, not exactly. The magnificent organ does not mesmerize her; but she is quite charmed by Frayn's jovial arrogance about it.
Frayn's penile-based self confidence is engaging simply because it's always attractive when a man believes in his own sex appeal. That confidence is somewhat misplaced--most women will be drawn to him for a dozen other reasons--but that doesn't change the fact that it's good for him to feel that way about himself.
Any time a man is sexually confident, it appeals to women. So if that confidence happens to be based on size, so what? It works anyway. And with the character of Frayn, literarily speaking his endowment represents that quality of erotic self-confidence. In the competition between the three members of the Vernal Night Trio, Frayn's best ally is his certainty of his sexual potency. In that sense, the symbolic one, size matters indeed.
So this is the technique I sometimes use to emphasize a hero's sexual confidence. The other few characters of mine of notable size were also thus described for similar reasons. Another good example is my pirate ghost character, Rafe Coppersword (to appear next month in my new Soulful Sex: The Paranormal Collection). As long as I was going for swashbuckling, why not give him a lot to buckle?
Aside from character development, there's another way size can matter in erotic fiction, and that is simply to symbolically emphasize masculinity. I've employed the technique in quite a few of the 60 stories I've written to date, and it's not like I'm the one who invented it.
One version of the device is the scene where the hero strips and unveils his erection, and the heroine's eyes fairly pop out of her head because he's so ginormous. An alternative is the scene in which he penetrates her and she's overwhelmed by the length and girth of the intruding instrument; you know, the "oh my god I'm so FULL" kind of thing. Or there may simply be a reference to the hero's reputation, one that compliments his endowments, before the thing is even revealed. (Don't you just love that suggestion that you aren't going to believe your eyes?)
Now you may wonder if my employing this "really-large" theme is a sellout. You may be thinking, "You tell guys size doesn't matter, and then write this stuff?" Well, let me explain.
In real life, Frayn would scare me. (His not-so-little Little Frayn was actually modeled after the equipment of a friend of mine, which also scared me. Fortunately my friend, like Frayn, is harmless.) On the other hand, on paper Frayn's member does kind of peak my interest. It just gives me a sort of swoony female feeling, if you know what I mean.
You see, the men in romance fiction are not actually in the room with you, about to uncomfortably stretch your anatomy to its limits. They are on the pages of a book. The words and images are there to provoke a reaction, something along the lines of "this guy is intensely masculine, aggressive, powerful, dominating, self-confident, irresistible," etc. And when you're going for that reaction, it's simply preferable that he be hung like a horse and not like a gerbil.
So I guess you get the gist. Whereas in real life the unfurling of a giant erection can actually be somewhat off-putting, in fantasy, combined with the astonished and aroused reaction of the heroine, it can be a genuine turn-on. That's my feeling on the subject anyway.
Still, I hope my male readers don't draw the wrong conclusion from my writing and actually click on those silly spams.

Diana Laurence is the author of the Soulful Sex anthologies published by Living Beyond Reality Press (www.livingbeyondreality.com). Visit her at www.dianalaurence.com, and read her blog at www.eroticawithsoul.blogspot.com. Download her free fiction from the LBR Press READ FREE Project at www.livingbeyondreality.com/readfree.html.