Next time you're playing an online game, beware your opponent. He just might be a 300-yea-old vampire named Vlad 1754, The Black Knight, with a state of the art monitor, a deluxe home theater system, an ergonomically designed chair, and all the time in the world to use them. In Beating Level Nine there just wasn't anything else left for an old vampire to do but play the ultimate game, Nihilism On Line. And if you happened to be his mortal opponent, the German Whore whose NOL character Warrior Woman got to the end of level nine--every single time right in front of the Black Knight (who was really a 300-year-old vampire)--you could bet he'd be focused on you.

And if he joined you in the tavern, and took you up to a room called The Seigneur's Dungeon to have his wicked way with you (but really only to get the secrets of how to win the game), then maybe you'd really watch out. Especially if he found out at that last crucial motel moment that your game character was a Lady Vampire because you bit him. You're in some serious trouble, Baby.

After that game when they'd gone to the NOL tavern and had sex upstairs--where Warrior Woman turned into a vampire, Dr. Stefan Delouise--he was still dealing with his online issues the next morning when he got a visit from none other than Caroline Frost of the Historical society. Alias Warrior Woman. Only he didn't know who she was. But she knew him. And she had walked right into his lair.

This is one of the most charming little stories I've come across in a while. It's hard to believe that there can be something like a charming Vampire story, but this is the primo example. This reviewer--yes, me (it's a stilted construction, isn't it?)-- refuses to classify this story as anything but a Paranormal Romantic Comedy Short Story, so Sahara Kelly, I guess you've created an entirely new genre. This is a short story but it's a really really good short story. It's crafted well, and Sahara Kelly's timing and sense of humor are impeccable. This is a must read, a keeper, one for the yearbooks and one to tell your friends about. In fact, I'm about to read it again.

Reviewed By: Maîtresse
© July 2004