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People ask me what it's really like to be a writer. I mentioned yesterday that I wear more than one hat as a writer. When my kids were growing up, the biggest challenge was finding any time to write at all. Now that I have six adult children with grandchildren there is a different set of challenges.

It is always a balancing act. The hardest thing about that balancing act has been, and in some ways continues to be people treating me like I actually have a job. Since I don't get up and go to an office everyday that is somewhere else, friends and family members tend to treat me like I'm just home hanging out playing on the computer or watching television. I had to learn how to take myself seriously when I could walk across the hall from my bedroom and sit in my pajamas half of the day in our home office.

At first, my husband and I shared a small office in one of the bedrooms where a child had formerly called home. The biggest problem with that was that we like different types of music. My husband likes to focus in total silence when he is writing his column or working on a consulting proposal. I like to listen to the radio in the background. I also talk to myself. He never knew when I was talking to him or myself. He would answer and I'd say "What?"

Sometimes I'd start a conversation with him and he was so deep in thought that he would pause and tell me "Not now, later." At first, I was irritated, then we talked through how both of us work and compromised. We decided that we needed a signal to let the other one know we were deep in thought working and not to disturb. We put a hat on top of our computer monitors - remember the big monitors before flat screne monitors. Even that didn't work as well as we had hoped.

My husband is an early riser so he would work early and I would work in the middle of the day or evening, but we were always in the same office. If we laughed at a funny email, it might be distracting. Filing cabinets and systems were also something we had to deal with. My husband is a clump filer and then does actual filing in large chunks. When I'm working on a book or story, my desk explodes with notes and sources. I have to search for what I want in a stack a foot high on the small area provided by my computer desk. Sometimes it fell on the floor as I pulled something out.

My husband and I get along very well, amazingly well for a couple that work together in a business from what I hear from other people who work with their husbands. However, sharing an office in close quarters was a major challenge for me. I want it bright and sunny. My husband likes the drapes closed and subtle light unless he is reading a book or looking at sources that aren't on the internet. To be fair, the floor to sealing glass doors are behind him and reflect on the computer screen. We finally had to make two office areas after our youngest child left home, but that had it's challenges too.