In the craft of writing, the short story form is considered among the most difficult to master. It is also a form that many a young writer is forced to confront in school for stories, and creative writing classes. In short form you must established the character, the events, the environment, and come to a conclusion of some kind. You must grip people as you would in a novel, but without the space and pace a novel provides. Few are able to do this well.

Surge And Raine: A Merman's Tale. is a love story between a merman and a human. It is a gender flip on the old Hans Christian Anderson's The Little Mermaid. Unlike that fairy-tale, this one is quite modern and has nothing with the poor mute tale person becoming mere sea foam in the end.

You have here a young son ready to ascend to the throne of the ocean in three days. The catch is, when he does so, he must take a mate. But the only mate he wants is a forbidden one above the waves, a human. Mermen have been forbidden as the one rule set by Poseidon their creator, to ever visit the human world above. Risking his Grandfather Poseidon's great wrath for disobeying the rule, he goes and asks for a way to make Raine his mate. Once granted, he has two days in which to convince a modern day woman who is running for her life, to join him in the ocean.

Surge and Raine: A Merman's Tale has a wonderful idea that would be worthy of any story. Unfortunately, it falls far short of the promise. For one thing, the prologue, which takes up a great deal of the story, setting the background, and some possible ideas of other plots that never come to fruition, almost seem as if it was meant for another story and not this one. Or perhaps this particular story was only meant as a brief episode in an on going one?

Then there is the use of some language. I am not talking about the fact that there is sex in here. What I mean is use of such words like, appendage to describe Poseidon's manhood. This was supposed to describe him in all glory and the word "appendage" often has a negative meaning. After such an expansive prologue, we are then shown a story that seemed erratic and even choppy in parts. I am left knowing way more about Poseidon and his desire for solitude and his fearsome temper, than I am about Surge or Raine. Who are these people? What was it about Raine that made her attractive to Surge? Was this the only human female he'd ever seen? How did they meet? Does she eat tuna and does he care if she does? Some more details of their personal quirks and behaviors would have been nice and would help fill out the characters.

Surge And Raine: A Merman's Tale needs to be re-written. Ms. Littlejohn could also pay more attention to the word choices she picks as well. She has the guts to try new ideas and new methods of telling; now she just needs to develop the craft.

Reviewed By Nancy Louise
© July 2007