
It goes without saying that one of the absolutely key elements of erotic feeling is desire. In fact, I can hear you saying "duh" as you read that. But hang on...I do have a point to make that you may not have considered about romance, sex, and falling in love.
There's a price one pays for that pleasurable pining. While in the erotic context we consider desire a pleasing emotion, more often than not it's actually unpleasant. It's actually often one of the most painful, distressing feelings we humans experience.
Desire is pleasurable when you feel like you have a shot at attaining its object. It's also nice when you have actually attained said object but not possessed it long enough that you take it (i.e., him or her) for granted. But if you begin to feel the odds are against you, desire remains erotic but is also agonizing. And if you become convinced that yours is a lost cause, that pain can be excruciating.
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